How to Attempt to Get a Novel Published

Hell, I haven't published a novel. But I've tried harder, and got further, than most. I remember trawling huge numbers of sites trying to find some master plan, some unstoppable secret weapon to help me get my first novel published. What I can tell you is that the guides that are out there are largely contradictory and often misleading. And whilst the business of writing and publishing novels is a difficult, time-consuming, and ruthless one, there are a few golden rules that you can try to stay within if you're really serious about becoming the next Stephen King, Philip Pullman or (god help us) Dan Brown.

The Golden Compass

The first film to be based on Phillip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. This was produced by New Line Cinema, who also made the Lord Of The Rings films, and they are obviously hoping to repeat that success with these films.

Set in a parallel world, where humans have external souls or 'daemons', usually in the form of animals. A young girl, Lyra (Dakota Blue Richards - great name!), living in an alternative Oxford, embarks on series of adventures which take her to the island of Svalbard in the arctic ocean.

On the way she encounters a Texan airship captain, Sam Elliot, and hires the services of an alcoholic armoured fighting polar bear, voiced by Ian McKellen. Daniel Craig, the latest Bond, plays an Indiana Jones type adventurous scholar and his co-star from Casino Royale, Eva Green, plays the queen of the witches.

Top Ten Fantasy Books

Good fantasy literature I think requires two vital elements to be present:

Imagination – the ability to dream, to create new wonders, to explore new realms and bring them to life. In fantasy the ideas can be original or not, that is not important. Often the re-use of the old, of archetypes and legends, is of crucial importance in fantasy, which is a form of literature that connects us with our deep past. On the other hand, I personally value originality in approach, and I notice that this list seems to consist largely of works by unique, one of a kind writers. It's the power of their imagination which is so vital, which makes their works so unforgettable.

Storytelling – the story must captivate the readers or listeners. This ancient art goes back many aeons to the first cro-magnons huddled around the cave fires, listening to the shaman's tales of the mysterious world(s) beyond… And it is just as important today. Fantasy is about stories, things have to happen, events have to unfold, quests have to be fulfilled, monsters killed or perhaps heroes (as the case may be), uppances have to be comed, and consequences have to be faced. Homer knew this when writing the Odyssey, as did all fantasy writers (and tellers) since.

So, once more into the breach. Here's my list.

The Eye of Argon - Worst Fantasy Novella Ever?

This is hailed to be the single worst fantasy novella in existence; the challenge is, if you can read more than a page without falling over laughing, you're definitely some kind of professional newsreader. Or somesuch.

Anyway, I figured I'd post it up here; this is too good to be missed.

Stardust

Stardust is a film is based on the book of the same name by Neil Gaiman. I've been a big fan of Gaiman's work for a few years now, especially the epic "Sandman" graphic novel series, also other works like "American Gods".

Stardust was a nice little book, slightly different from Gaiman's other work. An almost whimsical fairy tale, but with plenty of his usual dry humour. Clearly inspired by Lord Dunsany's "The King Of Elfland's Daughter", it starts off in a quiet English village near a Wall, which separates our world from Beyond, and tells the story of what happens to a mortal who happens to cross the Wall.

Riddley Walker

This is easily the most fascinating novel that I have ever read. The first sentence is a great example of the language: "On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly ben the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen." It's difficult at first, but once you get into the novel it isn't that hard to understand and by the time you finish the book it really does feel like you have learnt a new language.

Top Ten Science Fiction Novels

"A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight." - Roberston Davies

Here is a list of my top 10 Science Fiction Novels. It's purely subjective, based on what I have enjoyed most over the years. These are the ones that stand out for me as all time classics, that are worth reading and re-reading. In fact each time I read them, I discover something new.

Robert Pinsky - Impossible To Tell

I’m just posting this now because I found a stream of Pinsky reading it; anyway, this is one of my favourite poems, and if you want to listen for yourself I’ve uploaded it to the gallery. Enjoy.

The Matrix and its Inspirations

Virtually everyone I’ve talked to has seen The Matrix (Andy/Larry Wachowski, 1999) however few of them have read William Gibson’s Neuromancer, which in my opinion is one of the film’s biggest influences. In fact, when you look at the two in comparison to each other, Neuromancer does a lot better in many regards, so much so that it’s a shame the film, due in 2009, is not being given the lavish budget it deserves. Let's look at the two alongside each other.

Neuromancer Audio Tapes

These are audio files of William Gibson reading an abridged version of Neuromancer. Each of the eight parts is about forty minutes long - and even if you're not into the cyberpunk genre, it's a good listen (and an even better read). They weren't incredibly easy to find - and I don't think they're available on tape any longer; so I figured I'd mirror them here.