Cats, a man's best friend.

My cat is sitting on the chair next to me, watching me type away.

I live in a family of four, we have one cat and one dog. The reason eludes me, but the cat, Sappho, has always been very close to me, while the dog has been distant. When people talk about dogs being a man's best friend, it always confuses me: my dog shows little regard for humans, with his tendency to deposite enough hair in a week to render most of the carpets invisible, his constant desire for food - more often than not my food - and his unescapable need to empty his bowels every day, which one of us or all of us must bear witness to on his daily walks. When he begs for food, half of the time he decides it smelled nicer than it tastes, and he coughs it up onto the floor. When he wants to leave a room, he doesn't even attempt to open the door when it is already slightly ajar. And when we are in close proximity, I normally end up with a sticky coating of saliva on my trousers.

Having a dog - or more specifically, having my dog - meets none of the prerequisites of a friendship.